I’ve been with my beautiful husband for 21 years. Our relationship is lovely, now we no longer have exhausting toddlers, and we have reached that level of comfort with each other that’s endearing, reassuring, and deeply disturbing. As such, we know all of each other’s passwords, use whichever phone is closest most of the time, and have no secrets from each other. Except, as anyone in a similarly long-term relationship will know, that’s not exactly true. You still keep secrets.

Most of the things you omit telling your partner about are food-based. Ther