Webster’s dictionary defines Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as “a developmental disorder that is marked especially by persistent symptoms of inattention (such as distractibility, forgetfulness, or disorganisation) or by symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity (such as fidgeting, speaking out of turn, or restlessness) or by symptoms of all three and that is not caused by any serious underlying physical or mental disorder”. It took me over seven minutes to find that definition because I opened Google on my laptop, saw a link to Gmail, read my emails, discovered that the book I’ve bought Miss 11 for her twelfth birthday is being sent, googled what other books that author has written, texted my sister about how much we drank last night, and ended up discussing going on a railway bridge tour of NSW with her.

People with ADHD define it as “ninety-six tabs open in my head at all times”. The thing I didn’t know until very recently is that not everybody experiences that. I write to make sense of the storm swirling around my head, and these days I’m pretty good at it. I just didn’t know that not everyone has four columns, an in-depth historical article, three book outlines, and forty-seven short story ideas in their heads.

It was suggested by my GP a while ago that I might in fact suffer from this disorder myself. There’s actually some new research that suggests women with ADHD function without anyone noticing their struggles until they hit perimenopause and the hormonal storm inside their bodies becomes a losing battle.

You will either be reading this with one of three reactions: You will have turned the page by now because this doesn’t interest you; you will be thinking that disorders these days are over-diagnosed and back in your day none of these things existed; or, you will be googling railway bridge tours of NSW.

The thing is that my dad didn’t have autism. He just loved trains so much that he opened a model train shop. None of his customers at Platform One Model Trains had autism, they just loved building intricate miniature train sets and talking for hours about them. All of my childhood holidays involved a train trip, but there certainly wasn’t any neurodivergence back in their day!

But labels don’t change anything, really. These days we use them to help more than put people into boxes. The only change is that the “quirky” ones now understand that their brains operate a little differently, and there are some supports and scaffolds that can be used to make life easier for you.

So when my sister announced she was coming up from Wollongong and staying for three days, I knew I was going to have an amazing time. Because she also has ADHD and it’s so incredibly fun to let your brain run wild with someone who not only understands that urge, but also helps create an environment where it’s a safe adventure to do so.

Our night started as it always does, at Lord’s Place Thai. I need to give a massive shoutout to the staff there, because Miss 17 dropped me off and walked me in, and they asked if she was my sister because we look alike.

I’ve only got 154 words left, so I can’t even begin to describe the timeline of things my sister and I discussed. But some highlights included sitting in the front window watching terrible parking attempts, deciding we both need new cars, with me wanting a hybrid while she wants a Volvo, discussing the time she ran away from home as a 7-year-old but came back because she didn’t like the neighbour’s toothpaste, followed by a 17-minute debate about toothpaste flavours. The best part, though, was asking ChatGPT to give us a ‘Spotify Wrapped’ of our questions and swapping phones to read them aloud. See, when I’m with her I just get to be me with all of my randomness. I only hope that everyone else who finds themselves on a spectrum or with a disorder of some kind has that as well.

And lastly, if you made it to the end of this column, I’d just like to recommend you spend the weekend visiting the model train museum in Bathurst. Who knows, if you strike up a conversation about HO scale tracks with the person next to you, you might have the best conversation of your life.